It’s day three of Ramadan

It’s day three of Ramadan.

The third (or fourth or fifth…) day of Ramadan is the very best . By day three, I have overcome the awkwardness of small talk with a dearly loved friend I’m meeting after a year, and we have found and settled into a cozy familiarity together. We have picked up the conversation where we left it off last year. Some things about us have changed, some remain the same.
Like one half of an old couple, I decided to try some new things this year . But by day three, as we settle into the homely routine we’ve developed over the years, a lot of these new initiatives start sliding away:
– like eating home cooked healthy meals for Iftar. On day two, we made healthy sugar-free ice cream at home (yay!) and ordered in chaat for Iftar . I wonder what the Iftar table will see on day three. (I’ve just prayed Fajr, but I can see a box of kulfi dancing in mid-air above the couch.)
– like making and following a duaa list. While I strictly followed ‘the list’ for two days; on day three; my wandering personality emerges in my duaa-making. List thrown aside, I run through the aisles of the universe like a toddler let loose in a candy shop …. “Ya Allah get me this ,and get me that, and save this tree and this animal, and help this hungry child Ya Karim, please please please help her, and of course give me Jannah ya Rahman, and Ya Afuw- forgive my sins , all of them Ya Rabb”
– like those dream-duaa visualizations. Well, the images keep changing. “I don’t know what I want to be, But you do Ya Al-Alim, help me BE what you want me to be. Put me on the right path and Ya-Al Qawiyy give me the strength to follow that path.”
– Like keeping the home neat. Tidied up on day one, day two saw a few books left strewn where we had read them. As we enter day three… InShaAllah, the floor should have space for us to walk across – that’s the best I can hope for.

But my friend doesn’t mind. Because my friend knows me for me, and loves me for me. I make sure to thank her for visiting and gracing my home, bringing light and joy. I will remain loyal InShaAllah. I will honour her and she will help me grow in ways I didn’t anticipate. We still have our regular favorite activities, developed over the years.
– Like finishing a complete reading of the Quran. Twenty pages a day, seems daunting on the first two days- but by day three, the steady rhythm sets in. Alhamdulillah .
– Like waking up an hour or two before suhoor to have the peaceful early morning cup of coffee together along with heart-to-heart chats. We reminisce about the past (Remember that crazy Iftar in the tent with goats?) and talk about the future. (InshaAllah, please let us meet next year as well. We will do the healthy iftar next year- for sure!)
– Like immersing ourselves into a new book, reading slowly and pausing ever so often to imagine and absorb. This years top selection being about the Duaa of the Sahaba.
– Like making time to do just a little bit more good together everyday; be it buying and making food to distribute in the city, or meeting a new neighbour or connecting with family.

By day three, we are starting to relax and enjoy the short time we have together on this beautiful journey. Alhamdulillah for this blessed month. May be find a way to embrace it with love and joy. May we benefit from it and all the blessings it brings. Ameen.

What are some unchanging elements of your Ramadan experience?

Be Ramadan Ready

‘It’s Ramadan tomorrow, and all I want to do is sleep.’ I think in panic as I survey my house with a critical eye. There are books strewn everywhere, a half made lego set on the floor, dishes piled up in the sink. My body aches , I’m sneezing and it feels like the beginnings of a flu. It’s been a very hectic few weeks and I’ve been busy…. but at the moment I can’t remember what with; it’s all a blur: work, setting up my momprenuer project, Ramadan events, school events, packed lunches and bedtime stories… a crazy-mix of all… in this moment I feel exhausted, overwhelmed and inadequate because I’m not ‘Ramadan ready’.

Instagram shows me another picture of a beautifully set up Ramadan wall , a corner , a basket. There are twinkling lights, blue, gold, purple and spring themed. There are moons and stars and carefully curated book titles in a pretty basket. There are activities and games for children and boxes of neatly wrapped samosas and perfectly shaped kebabs. There are even personally labeled eid favors all ready and waiting to be distributed!

Then there are the articles, so many on how to make the best of Ramadan: duaa lists, and goal charts and planners and journals. I have none. I feel unable to cope with the pressure to do and be all these things for Ramadan. I’m overwhelmed and I slump into a corner.

It’s Ramadan tomorrow- and I just want to sleep.

Tears start streaming out of my eyes. I just can’t …. will my kids have a lousy Ramadan because i haven’t decorated a cardboard mosque ? I crawl into bed- teary – ya Allah help me. I dissolve into tears… and slip into sleep. I wake up much later in time for the dawn Salah. I finish my namaaz, and remain sitting on the prayer mat. Slowly. a thought emerges: it’s about your heart, prepare your heart first.

I start to peel away all the extra layers… no my children don’t really need the lights and daily treats. We can do without the cardboard mosque, the real one is close by. (Alhamdulillah for living in this country- UAE !) We don’t need the samosas.

The only thing we really really need is to connect to Allah – with or without the extra frills. If we can do the lights, crafts decor, Alhamdulillah, and if we can’t , Alhamdulillah .
I will make it my intention to have our hearts connect to Allah, and ALL I need for that is my my sincere intention and sincere duaa.
That is something I can do – right here, right now. I can do it while I prepare lunch boxes, wipe surfaces and while I drive around running errands.

I make fervent duaa- to make this Ramadan the best yet. Yes, amidst the toys strewn about and the dirty dishes… this WILL BE the best Ramadan yet.
InShaAllah.

Alhamdulillah – I am alive and here to witness another Ramadan, InShaAllah. That is an immense blessing and that is enough.

Astaghfirulla – Ramadan is not about envy and inadequacy.
I am happy for all the people who have beautifully decorated homes. I love them and appreciate the effort . I remind myself of the many who have none of these blessings and many who will be struggling with burdens I can’t even imagine this Ramadan.

InShaAllah – I have a day. I will have a tidy house, I will have my prayer mats out, I may set up lights. I have time to prepare. While preparing I will consciously remind myself to focus on what matters most.
Intention matters, so right now I make it my intention to please Allah, in everything I do and even in things I can’t do!

All I need is for my heart to reach out and connect to the divine. All I need to do is take one step, and Allah pulls me up the rest of the way. With the comfort of that thought settling in my heart, the comfort of knowing with certainty that Allah will pull me through; a plan starts to emerge; A plan to be Ramadan ready in 12 hours.

Bismillah.
Yalla – Lets do it!

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